Short Story: 'Best Before'

Monday

The newspapers were full of it again this morning. ‘Stay indoors, Stay safe’ is all they say now. I’m not sure what good it will do anyone when negotiating with a meteor. Stay indoors, stay on the roof, dance a merry jig in the lawn if you like, it’ll all come to the same.

Though I will stay indoors most likely. Where else is there to be?

’Last edition’ said the Mail - ‘Goodbye and Good Luck’. Very ‘stiff upper lip’. Still, I suppose that’s the only attitude. ‘Got to keep going girl,’ is what Gordon would say.

On the radio an Archbishop or some-such sort asked us to pray for whatever form of life comes next and to send them our best wishes. I turned it off. I can’t be praying for other life-forms at a time like this.

It’ll hit Wednesday afternoon they say. After ‘Bargain Hunt’ and before ‘The Chase’ I thought.

It was a terrible rush at the shops again. People bumping into my trolley, cursing, and even looting. I recognised a few faces from the back end of the estate of course, though you wouldn’t expect better. They were taking mounds of toilet paper and I thought to myself ‘More fool them. They’ll never get through all that in time’.

Gordon would have said something like, ‘everyone’s acting like it’s the end of the world!’ I wouldn’t have laughed but just touched his arm and said ‘Yes, very funny dear.’

I got a few tins of beans and microwave rice that should tide me over. I found myself checking the best-before dates of the milk just out of habit. I decided to get full-fat again. I’m not leaving this world on semi-skimmed.

I went to pay but there was nobody there. I left the money on the till as I don’t want them to think I stole. And it’s all on cameras these days so you never know - if the worst doesn’t happen at least they can look back and say some people held their standards.

Bernard two doors down has gone loopy. He grabbed me on the doorstep on my way back in. ‘We must repent! The end is nigh’. All wild eyed. I said ‘Yes dear’ and fished out my keys. He’s never been right since the Colmans forced him to take out that high hedge. He became very bitter about it as I recall. There was talk of the Colmans’ rabbit being poisoned when it got diarrhoea. Though nothing could be proved. All the same, odd man.

And I saw Nigel opposite has ‘guests' over again. Six or seven of them as far as I can make out. Though it’s hard to tell with all those limbs. They’re not trying to hide it either. Bodies pressed up against the windows. One woman left a large imprint you could tell her knicker size by. I said to myself, you’d need more than a squirt of Windolene to shift that.

I thought my nets could do with a wash but supposed it may not be worth it.

It was a good drying day so I got them in the wash anyway.

They always were a funny pair Nigel and Barbara. Back when we’d have dinner parties on the cul-de-sac he’d always insist I take another ‘After Eight’ - but in a leering, and I might say, suggestive way. ‘Go on Jean, have a nibble’ he’d say with his lips all wet.

I’d heard whispers about the pampas grass from Marie in the Bridge Club. And there was that same grass in their front garden. ‘Swingers’ I said in a hushed voice to Gordon one Saturday while glancing over. ‘Nonsense’ he said while reading his supplements.

Well Gordon, who was right after all? ‘Ah sure you always are,’ he’d said now.

‘Bargain Hunt’ was on again this afternoon. They’re not doing live television anymore as they’ve likely all left in a flap to be with their families. Still I prefer the repeats anyway. Takes your mind off the doom and gloom. Gordon said he found the antiques shows boring but he’d still hazard a guess at the winner while on his way out to the garden. I’d often catch him lingering at the door as they’d announce it.

The Blue Team won today. I thought they might. Gordon never could get it right. ‘Load of rubbish’ he’d grumble on his way back out the door.

I saw the Shelleys three doors down leaving in the car. There’s only myself, the swingers, and mad Bernard left on the cul-de-sac.

I rang our David again just to put the thought in his head that maybe I should come to theirs. They could do with an extra pair of hands wrangling the grandkids I said. He said the motorways are choc-a-block so there’s no chance of getting through now. I said ‘So you won’t see me I suppose’. He said I suppose not. ‘Best off where you are mum’ he said.

Still it’s a shame not to see the grandkids. But I didn’t say that. ‘You know best love’, I said.

It’s that Sarah won’t want me there of course. She always resented that I’d do the cooking. A fuss over nothing. I just like to put a decent meal on the table. Besides, her food was shocking. I said to Gordon on the journey home those kids need feeding with fish fingers and chips, good honest food instead of that muck she serves them - lentils and broths and nonsense. ‘Best to leave her to it’ said Gordon. I said ‘I won’t speak my mind in future’.

Just in bed an hour. It’s very quiet. I was just thinking of how mum would squish the bedclothes around me tightly. ’Like a sausage roll’ she’d call it.

Funny where your mind goes.

I suppose it’s natural to think back at a time like this. Mum would have hated all this fuss and bother. ‘Keep smiling Jean,’ she’d say, ‘it’ll all come good in the end’.

Tuesday

Shops were empty now. The front door broken off its hinges. ‘Isn’t it terrible,’ I said to Penny Rainer who was passing. I don’t think she saw me. Terrible dazed look on her face.

I didn’t need anything from the shops. I just thought it was good to get out of the house for a bit. I do try to get a walk in everyday.

I had a Fitbit the grandkids sent me for Christmas but I can never remember the thing. It was David bought it really. To be honest I didn’t liked being chained to it, judging how much I get about. And who else is watching? You never know. Doesn’t matter now I suppose.

I got the nets in off the line, I forgot them yesterday. Where must my mind be?

That Nigel opposite was up on the roof singing with a bottle in hand. He must have climbed out the skylight. I hadn’t seen a naked man in years and wasn’t much impressed with the reminder. Barbara came out and shouted at him to get down or else he’d kill himself. ‘I’m the king of the world!’ he shouted before stumbling onto his bum and bobbing along the slates to the edge. The gutter saved him.

They’ll hope the meteor hits tomorrow because they’ll be terribly embarrassed if it doesn’t.

I thought to myself maybe that’s what could happen - the meteor misses and everyone wakes up on Thursday with a pinching hangover. Imagine the shame, the embarrassment. God it would be delicious. World leaders have to set off nuclear bombs anyway to spare humanity having to look at itself the eye. I made myself chuckle with the idea and turned to Gordon’s chair -

It’s very quiet in the house.

Blue team won again on Bargain Hunt. I did well on ‘The Chase’. I got a question about Mary Quant and they had no idea. They don’t have the general knowledge anymore. Anything older than a few years ago and they said ‘Oh I’m too young’. Do you not read books? I know Dickens and I wasn’t around then either. No curiosity about the world.

I had a nip of brandy in afternoon.

I rang our David and he said to stop worrying. They’re off to the seaside to be on the beach for the ‘big day’. Sarah’s idea I suppose. I thought the roads were blocked I said. These ones are fine mum’ he said. I asked if he could put me on to the grandkids but he said they were in the car and he had to go. I said goodbye but the line cut out.

I sat in the front room and let it get dark around me.

I can’t say why. I would sometimes sit in the dark as a child.

Sitting with the weight of my feelings.

Now I’m lying here in bed all neat with my arms resting above the covers. I expect I may not sleep very much.

I’ve been thinking back to Gordon. Thinking back on childhood worries. Thinking of a lot of things, all rushing up to be heard at once. I’m trying to sift through but more keeps coming. It’s all tangled up. A careful life. Too careful. How things might have gone differently.

Still, best not to dwell on the past.

Wednesday

It was a bright morning. I didn’t nod off until three or four in the end. It’s hard to tell at that stage when exactly you’re asleep and not. I was awake early all the same and watched the pale light creep along the ceiling. I could stay in bed I supposed. But no. Best not.

I saw one of the pots in the back garden had turned over in the night. You would need to be bigger than a cat to knock that. A fox I suppose. We’re seeing more of them these days. They can make a terrible racket at night.

There was a message about them in the online neighbourhood group David signed me up to. I never took to it. Those neighbourhood things always get monopolised by the same pushy types. Not for me.

I never did take to groups - though you’re meant to. Being part of a group is the be-all and end-all they say. Popularity. Even back in my school days I was wary. They always turn on someone. That’s how they operate. Best off out of it from the start.

I went out to fix the pot upright. The fresh dewy morning air hit me. I took some time checking the plants.

I went to try David’s mobile but thought best to leave him be. I hope they made it to the beach.

I remembered my feet sinking into wet sands and watching the water rush in to fill my footprints behind me.

Mum and dad in their swimming costumes looked funny to me. To me it seemed like they were dressing up for a part, pretending to be like everyone else on the beach. But they were like everyone else. Just people.

I remember first holidays with Gordon in Spain - before David came along. Women were sunbathing topless. ‘Well I never!’ I said. Gordon chuckled of course.

I thought of this while looking out at the back garden with a cup of tea. It was sweet. I liked the heft of the mug in my hand.

And then, I can’t for sure say why, I went out onto the grass and slipped off my shoes. I felt the grass nuzzle between my toes. I slowly took off my blouse and bra, whipped down my skirt and knickers. Folded them and laid them down in a neat pile. I took off my earrings and necklace and even my wedding ring and put them in my shoe so as not to lose them.

Then I lay down on the grass.

I closed my eyes. The sun pressing pink against my eyelids. I spread my arms wide like a bird. The grass tickling. I passed my arms over and back a few times, the grass dancing in my fingers, and then let them rest. My body felt at once heavy and like it might float away, melt into the world around it.

The ground was warm. A soft hum of life. The morning sun on my body. All my body. For the first time. I breathed out and let go.

I lay there and bathed in time and silence as deep as the sky.

It was beautiful. It was always beautiful.

I am glad I woke up to feel it.

****

I’m on Twitter @TheRoryJohn